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by kaywinnet

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Locutus 05:38
// liner notes Sometimes I'm at the point where I tend to criticize myself for being not as sporty anymore, or where I even have self-esteem issues about myself, because I compare my looks with the ones of other people or with some capitalist standards. This is deeply troubling to me, because I know how stupid this is, and that those standards shouldn't influence me at all. It seems easier to cut other people some slack than myself, and this is quite dangerous. I try to remind myself that it doesn't matter how I look, and most of the times I'm perfectly fine with myself. But there are those moments of doubt, reminding me about the influence and danger of beauty standards, gender roles and superficialities. On the other hand I find it not easy to cope with the opinions of others, even though I know that I shouldn't care. Most of the time I don't doubt myself but I get angry, because I know very much how hurtful those opinions can be and to what they can lead, like eating disorders, mental health problems and suicide thoughts / attempts. We have to be more careful about this, even if we are in an environment where 'everyone should know how this is meant'. Because this may be not the case, and our words and actions have a massive impact on others. I'm not sure how we can get out of this exactly, because I sometimes struggle and try to fulfill some stupid 'expectations', and also project those standards on other people. In the end, I think we have to take care of this together, by acknowledging ourselves for who we are, and trying to reflect our actions and thoughts. // lyrics i wanna be a Cyborg. weil ich keine Lust mehr habe, als zu groß, zu klein, zu dünn, zu dick, zu hässlich oder zu schön gelabelt zu werden. Ich habe keine Lust mehr auf Oberflächlichkeiten und den ganzen anderen Scheiß. Wofür ist es wichtig, wie ich aussehe? Warum interessiert dich das? Und warum interessiert mich das? Wie kommen wir hier raus? Ich will nicht einzigartig sein müssen und doch der Norm entsprechend. i wanna be a Cyborg. not a boring human! die waage lacht mich an die zahlen brennend grell wieder ein kilo weg wieder ein kilo mehr ich weiß ich bin gefangen zwischen rollenbildern und idealen so will ich doch nicht sein wie kommen wir hier wieder raus was du sagst hat gewicht was du tust hat gewicht verletzt macht kaputt macht krank warum massen wir uns an zu sagen was du tragen darf zu denken was du essen kannst oder was gesund sein soll und bist das du oder alles um dich rum? und bin das ich oder alles um mich rum?
Praefix a 05:23
// liner notes A few years ago I learned something about my mind that stunned me and explained quite a lot to me. There was this article which basically said that most people are able to visualize things in their mind, but a tiny percentage of people can't. I'm one of those people. At first I found this quite intriguing; I even told a lot of jokes about it, as you can imagine (see?). But my joy about the discovery perished after a few days, like every moment does, at least for me. Currently I have no other person to talk to with the same condition. No one in my 'inner circle' has any idea what is going on. Everything I ever experience just vanishes. I have the semantic memory and can talk about those things, but I can't visualize any of it. The same goes for smell and sound, every sense is just blank. So everything I experience is gone forever. There are some positive side-effects, some pros. I can’t visualize being hurt, I can't properly remember the pain of being depressed, I can bottle up all the insults, the suicide attempts, all those moments of being completely lost. On the other side, there is this feeling I have most of the time. Being completely lost. Isolated. Insecure. When I leave the house of someone I care about, someone who's presence gives me joy - the moment I close the door behind me everything is the same grey again. All in all, the cons are winning. By a landslide, I imagine. // lyrics da ist dieser moment wo dein herz lauter schlägt als je zuvor da ist dieser moment an diesem ort so atemlos schön da ist dieser moment wo du mir sagst 'ich werde gehen' da ist dieser moment der sand zwischen den zehen der wind im gesicht da ist dieser moment nach dem alles anders war da ist dieser moment den ich nie vergessen will da ist dieser moment so weit weg von unglück wie nie zuvor da ist dieser moment so weit weg von glück wie nie zuvor und dann ist er weg out of sight - out of mind the absence of phantasia the absence of phantasia ich dachte immer 'schafe zählen' sei bloß ein spruch wer kann den ahnen dass ihr sie wirklich seht die strände die menschen die bilder und jetzt sagst du du kannst sehen was du willst du kannst sehen wen du willst und bei mir ist alles schwarz und in mir scheint alles leer x "wenn ich dich bitte, dir einen strand vorzustellen, was passiert in deinem kopf?" y "einen strand vorzustellen?" x "ja, wie sieht er aus für dich?" y "ehm, da sind wellen, sand, strandkörbe, ein entspannendes bild." x "aber ist es ein richtiges bild? kannst du es sehen?" y "ja, ich kann das sehen." x "siehst du es in farbe?" y "natuerlich" x "wie oft siehst du bilder am tag?" y "die ganze zeit, tausende?" euer in erinnerung schwelgen ich hab es nie verstanden ich weiß jetzt warum dass aragon so anders erscheint ich hab es nie verstanden ich weiß jetzt warum dass ihr menschen vermisst ich hab es nie verstanden ich weiß jetzt warum 'lebe im jetzt', 'sei im moment' steht in deinem poesie-album doch kannst du es nicht - ertragen wenn es wirklich so ist diese leere frisst mich auf ich fühle mich kalt, dich zu vergessen niemand zu vermissen, keinen moment alles verschwindet, jeder moment alles verschwindet, jeder moment alles verschwindet, jeder moment


Kaywinnet is about music, but it is also about thinking, do-it-yourself and awareness. This band is build on friendship and trust. Together we deal with topics we care about, like feminism, mental health awareness, left-wing politics, social justice, veganism and sci-fi/fantasy-references.

This is our first release, it's called 294km, which is the distance between our homes. The two songs, Locutus and Praefix A were both recorded by Andi Sommer at Bei Ruth in Berlin. The mastering was done by Joe Caithness of Subsequent Mastering.

Kaywinnet is:
Christian - baritone guitar
Sarah - drums
Torsten - voals

This is forever.


released October 7, 2017

The cover was designed by Martina and Maxe. Thank you being a part of this, and giving our songs and thoughts a visual form.

294km is released via Zilpzalp records. Thank you Rob, for giving us this amazing support after our first ever rehearsal recording was leaked to you.

Sarah would like to thank everyone she got to know through queer feminist places. Without them she wouldn’t’ have started playing the drums. Thank you for your encouragement, tips and letting her use their drums (Hi Andrea!).

Thank you for listening to those two songs, for buying the vinyl, showing up at concerts and giving us feedback. We really appreciate this privilege and are deeply thankful.


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kaywinnet Berlin, Germany

we're 'kaywinnet'. we're playing lo-fi emo / screamo.

'kaywinnet' is about music, but it is also about thinking, do-it-yourself and awareness. this band is build on friendship and trust. together we deal with topics we care about, like feminism, mental health awarness, left-wing politics, social justice, veganism and sci-fi/fantasy-references. ... more

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